Don’t Suffer Alone

By Katie Perry, NDAA staff writer

Suffering from the loss of a spouse through death or divorce is a traumatic and overwhelming experience—one that should not be endured alone.

That’s why the ND Alumni Association will offer a workshop entitled, “From Mourning to Morning: Working through the Death of a Spouse or Divorce,” from April 11-13. The weekend event will provide a safe and supportive community atmosphere for those experiencing feelings of loss or sorrow.

Elaine DeBassige D’Amato ’91 will serve as a lecturer at the workshop. She attended a similar program as a student, following the passing of her father, and says the event was “absolutely phenomenal.”

“Coming back to school was a weird transition, but going through the conference made everything good again,” D’Amato says. “I came away with a sense of community. There is that sense that other people shared their experience with you and grew with you over the course of the weekend.”

The conference was the first stepping stone in learning the integral link between death and rebirth for D’Amato. Afterwards, she went back to school and completed a M.A. in Counseling Psychology and Counselor Education in Marriage and Family Therapy and School Counseling at the University of Colorado Denver, and a Professional Certificate in Sport Psychology at the University of Denver. She is now a licensed professional counselor in Colorado with a private practice.

D’Amato’s experience was so positive that she was “immediately excited” about leading a similar seminar at Notre Dame—and a recent divorce brought her even closer to the topic. “It’s a rare opportunity,” says D’Amato, who thinks the spring workshop will be a learning experience for her as well.

The workshop will include an opening talk, followed by small group discussions that will be psycho-educational and processing activities, in which participants will serve as resources to one another. There will also be a final address and Mass to conclude the workshop. Most importantly, participants can expect to find normalcy in the grief they are enduring, D’Amato says.

“Loss can make you feel pretty isolated—and I think to bring people together in a group at a place like Notre Dame, especially where spirituality isn’t frowned upon, is important,” she says. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and one way to get through that is with the support of a community.”

D’Amato says a “shift in culture” has made the topic of death and loss much less silent in recent years.

“Conferences like this provide an opportunity for people to know that they’re not alone in the world,” she says, “There has been a huge change that makes these topics okay to talk about in public—and I feel really good about that.”